THE SUN IS NOT AWARE OF SCARS

THE SUN IS NOT AWARE OF SCARS
Life has become strangely
Simplified….
Everyday I love you less and less.
WHY BEING SINGLE ROCKS
Now I am a free man. I can breathe the air lungs full; I clean up all my knotted thoughts that have hurt me so much. In these days, even I forget to feel the essence of being me. The string of wariness that never share my bed again. Being in love always, I thought she is mine but she is loved by many. This is greatest insecurities I have been live along those days. Now I am free like a bird. Fly on and on. The pocketfuls of dreams are with me and its giving meaning in me. I always wanted to be the one who live in himself but she captures me like snake. LOVE- God save me…...i never ever thought that its was so painful, the blaming game people like play with each other. Is was not that I am looking for or forward in my life. I never been so cheated in my life. Thank God now its over and end. However, for your information it was not I that ended it; it was from her side. Good luck for her future, my best wishes are always with her. One thing I sure about that I never forget her in my life but you know and I knew time heal everybody.
It’s a raining tears days. All around rain and me. The tears that always makes me emotional enough to blown away. Be brave boy. It is just a blink of a time. Everything gonna be right after the rain. The bird are chirping, the tree that has to change there leaves. After the fall spring will come.

I am neither scornful nor disdainful.
I am the sea’s treasurer, I hardly hear words of hurt and I restore my place my thinking, my joys; and if I could admit to you the sadness in my absent eyes, neither the reasons nor madness were mine alone. I fell in love again and love started up a wave in my life and filled me with love, love alone without my wishing ill to anyone.
It is not adversity that separates people, it is growing. A flower never dies; it goes on being born. So then, forgive me as I forgive.
One must cherish and wear singleness. If we celebrate singleness, there is not war in this world. Its not end of the war, it is just a beginning. The biggest war one should face is war with oneself.

Ideal partner: who has the innocence of angels, patience of awareness, perception, nobility, discrimination, judgment, penetration, honesty, wisdom and humanitarianism.
Hard fine is not but I wait and wait till doomsdays.
Watta say…….i am sure I will find the most unavailable one and unwanted one who calling me from far so far away.
Spears of yesterday, swords of the past,
I’m guilty, I said to the firefly.
And night enveloped me.
I wanted to say that I too
Suffered.
Its not enough
The one who wounds is wounded till he dies.

That’s history now, it was written in sand,
In the spreading of the shade.

Its not true! Its not true!

MIND OF MAD MAN

MIND OF MAD MAN(I am threatened by ridicule, I am overly conscious of the sincerity in my voice, I like to have sex with people)
It’s a monsoon hugging midnight after Friday the 13th, the rain simply showering through all the days as well as till now. I am sure rain will escort me with my broken dreams but I knew I never quit dreaming whether I will be right or death. Dreaming boost my inner energy to sit down and wear a brand new day everyday. As a born sadist I always convince myself whatever I go or do I will right there to catch all the tears and fighting with brave hearted with the situation come towards me. Sometimes reality bites me and left me wounded. Sometimes I felt lonely in the crowded room. There is time in our life; we all want to be alone for a while. This is a conviction or truth that u cannot hide from thyself. People are amusing all around you, singing, dancing, over crowded with there angry or sweet voices but in the middle u found yourself numb, dumb, and listless then listless again. There is no voices can reach you where you have been at that moment. All those moments you carry with yourself and all those years lost there meaning for a while.
My mind boiling and torched me by questions that I only wonder and lost. Is this what I am for? What I am doing over here…..and then you will feel lonely and lost.
When the answer will strike you, you will soon find your way back home and died peacefully…lol
Sometimes, I fake myself just to adjust with the environment. (Collecting Environmental rewards…lolz) This is the cheapest way to raise some unwanted rewards.

The bruise emotions, unwanted tears and all that pain of suffering gives me great relief, soothing effects and heal me like no one than quickly I stand up and keep walking, breathing, singing like a free bird. Hey look at me I am still alive. Lucky to be alive and young in this alien city. Life- count not by years but the moments you live with fullest.
I was thinking about myself so lately as I realize there is a vivid but visible dull, times I had been living with till date. It is like pendulum that hanging in the vacuum that eagerly wants strike the extreme side of the both end. I am still working hard to get there but I cant get enough . Life is nothing but seen as how you want it to be. Sometimes the wanting is silently killing all dreams and we weep gently. Live in the deep hallucination that only show me negative drip and blowing fuse.
I hate those entire sympathetic hills that all around me. People stared me like an alien animals. Is that fair, People should mind their own business. Why the tried to sneaking or peeking others life without a valid permission. Anyways let them stare at me….me either don’t give a damn thing to them. Live and let live…lol
I want to buy a situation


THE CALLING

Killing is my business. Don’t you scare of me? All these years I keep fighting with myself: I killed me. Honestly I liked to kill myself someday. I want to feel the pain bit by bit damn slowly.
So don’t say YOU SING ALL SUMMER Now dance.
If the memories are not faded with times then half of this humane died with madness. Time is great and genuine healer.
Nobody forgets there First love, first kiss, first bike, etc... Everything’s that first ever experience in lifetime. The times grow with us, we become old, we may be forgetting all of them accept the very first thing i.e. fallen in love for the first time. No matter how we try we never get rid with our first love. It’s like a poisonous fungus that grows day after days and left us somewhere wounded and in deep pain we cry alone.
We must cherish the pain; I should say we all celebrate it with others. Then there will no war at all.
DAMN why don’t I never forget about her…how come I only suffer when all birds are singing and dancing all the ways down. Why I would like to there for her always.

I know I am cheating someone for my first love. I sincerely admitted that to her but it is not working towards her. I wonder why she keep loving me after all that confession.
Did I quit…..

Today again the alcohol touch me stomach and make me sober.


LET THE PEACE OUT

FAKE THYSELF

Whenever I just going mugging, mugging down around-I saw there is so many people trying to fake thyself। (We are infested and infesting others like a worm) We are living in the look at ME world। We all are connected by virtually। We do not even know where we met each other in the virtual U-turns with that fake identity. We often chase our own identity by creating so called cool profiles. The ways we make them cool by modify our own view of life. In search of likeminded soul, we somehow lost our own religion, faith and our self-confidence. We keep that route to impress others for what mean. If we do not trust ourselves first than how could we gain trust to others. No matter how hard we try, we are always there as original self. That is why: at the end day, we looked so tired, weird and cursed ourselves sadly. The basic need is to celebrate moments with company that keeps you alive and worthwhile. We are all humane by birth, compassionate enough to share feelings, love, happiness and of course pains. We feel so light when there is someone waiting to heard out and gave shoulders to lean on. Imagine how light;

No matter how hard you try, you cannot escape or fake yourself coz you are what you are; we all are reflective to each other’s; yr eyes never lied to you; you know and I knew that seen is believing. Sometimes its takes time (sometimes centuries passed and u still wonder whoz that) to see the real you but trust me it was not that hard to find out what inside. (The sooner is better for you)
Believe me you that finding thyself is the hardest part of our life. So many People (poor or lost soul and the terminal fuck ups) died without knowing what killed them; so sad Nah. That is why at least we should try to meet ourselves once. Just try people; its cost you nothing. (It’s like a season offering; buy one get one free)
People always enjoyed and playing monogamous games toward each other’s. We well enjoyed being a part of it that is why we sow so many wars upon us. Game played and enjoyed; so many tower destroyed, evaded but still you, I wondering around.
So take light and embraced what you are coz you are your own GOD. Pat yourself for good thing you have been done and share everything that you have earned.
Life is not that easy to modify or express or write down coz how anybody does or I define it by words. Words are shapeless; ugly figure that playing on papers. How could you and I construct a sentences to describe it. Its makes me so earthbound and weepiness.
Lets not the alien politics of humanization, hate grow over us; we do not let anybody to suffer. Just spread love and smile all over this small but huge beautiful planet. Live as you never live anymore. Every moment is GOD gift to us. Let us makes that moments worth full. Someday we tell our children what we have done to this planet. PEACE OUT.

RUST
The smell of your skin
Stare me like a mad holy cow
Who blew my tiny broken hut?
Passion and sin stung me like a honeybee
The sweet sparkling light of love struggle
Beast embraced with beast
Mixed blood and sweats

Shut down all the doors
Punished all the purest heart
Let them die
Let pain raining like a toxic waste
Burn that green blooming leafs
Let the Garden of Eden glow brighter
Like a august sky
Now
The selfish coward’s game is over
Python of desired is satisfied.
And a child is born.

I open the rusted broken doors
An ill infested darkness covered my soul
I felt infested, seductive and hypnotized
A dry but heavy drop violence erupting like a long dead volcano
The lava violently burst upon my side
Scorpions of darkness stung my soul
Half conscious, skeleton crackling cold terrorize winds
Sharpened the edge of stubborn spirits
And I followed the shadow of omen
He promises me to catch the flying horses of time
As a satiated hungry man
I searched for the apple
And I violet the line of fire

BIRTHDAY MUSE

I am writing to you in bed। It is awful to think that tomorrow I shall be another one year older। I am dreading. It is dreadful to be as old as that. I hate getting old………
I am old, futile, and pointless and letter less. I’ve no letters, cards ----there may be a post letter and I am putting all my faith in that. Nobody has even wished me happy returns of the day. And you needn’t have worried about people giving me a present because, doesn’t nor going to give me a present. You must think I want people to give me present but I honestly don’t. Only I am afraid rather childishly and perhaps sloppily. I like to be wished many returns of the day but shan’t ever again because after today I want my birthday forgotten because I am getting old.