So here I am AGAIN. Pathetic and heartbroken. Ten times MORE heartbroken just coz this relationship had substance. Okay, I'm not that pathetic. It's not like I stay at home and cry all day. I go out, I see my friends, I work out, I studied and passed all my classes last semester even under the DIRE circumstances. It's just that ARGHHH it still hurts. And we never even fought before we broke up. Isn't that crazy? Arghhh... I hate this. I honestly hate the way it feels. Stupid chest pain.


I know what my problem is. I give TOO MUCH. I should hold back a little to save myself from the grief that will eventually come. Still, what's the point of loving if you can't fully love?

follow me

follow me
(happy distraction, tantalizes and tempts, to hurt immeasurably, leaves in it's wake, a broken heart, a bloodied rose )
NAME: ANeX(The guy of all the nonesense dreams,DA DUSTBIN OF HATE,DIESEL MINDED SOUL,RASCAL OF DREAMZ)the ringing applause,the flashing strobes,the flowing paeans,the short memory,the icy scorn,the muted hate,the silent envy,the wasted vanity, the fleeting moments,the precious illusions,the music is mine,nothing else matters NICK NAME: Anex [The Zionian]
HOBBIES: Hacking,writing software,Hardcore FAN of Black gothic Metal World...Playing Guitar.(till Bled).........Writing DREAMS & Painting my fav fast time ..fashion design,animation.doodle,abstract painting.writing freaky dreams,illustrating,photography,fine art,carpenter, visualiser,music.
DEATH : This a beautifull sculpture on humans Life
CRUSH:I saw thee once-- once only -- years ago: I must not say how many -- but not many.
LOVE : Painfull very painfull (I Love da matrix trilogy very much)
My Fav Songs:PINK FLOYD,DIMMU BORGIR....actually i have so many fav song>
"> i ADMIRED HACKERS&VIRUS WRITERS and The Guitar Player OF this world(Kurt cobain-my fav )
Goal in life:
I don't know what my goal in life is, and I try not to think about it much. I just want to be happy doing whatever it is I'm most happy doing. I don't know what that is yet tough. I do want to be financially well off before I'm too old to enjoy it, but what happens after that? I don't have any aspirations of being famous and I don't have any desire to make a big difference in this world. Oh well, I'll figure it out someday.LIVE AND LET DIE
Hobbies and Activities
In my spare time I like to do things on my computer AND watching cartoon network,freaking around BARISTA and CCD at NFC community cantre,New Delhi-INDIA-
I've been around computers for a long time, my first experiences were with Intel 486 DX-2 . I thought that was the coolest thing and I've never stopped using them since (computers) but right now i have had a Intel PIV 2.4GhZ 60GB Hard disk, 512MB RAM,17Cm Samsung Monitor,9X,2K,Linux Operating System. I put them together, take them apart, play games, program, play on the Net, write 'C'& Vb programs, and so much more.

Some Lines about me

Some Lines about me :
*I don’t need you to tell me who I am; I know that very well for myself
*I am Anex born on the 12th of August in Arunachal, India. Friends call me Ryan. Enemies wish I wasn’t born. Those in between don’t know what they are missing
AT this moment am 24 years old, I am 5.7 feet tall and weigh close to 69 kilos. I am working on the weight, some of you are trying with the height as well
*I hate being a indian and I intensely dislike people pulling my leg about it
*My name is short for Kwo – my mom christened me so, coz it seems the whole family had been ‘expecting me’ for a long time
*Currently staying at Delhi,(actually i m from so many places) dad’s working in Forest officer, mom has always been home minister (and chief justice, commander of armed forces etc)
*I am trying my best to go abroad in my lifetimes for my further studies; maybe to US or Europe. God willing, I will get through to a good place
* My mom and sis loved me too much, I hated it
*When I was 6 months old, I almost died under water. (three times) I like to believe that I was saved coz GOD is with me.
*I was delicate as a child and ended up visiting the doctor every other week. I have fractured my hand, leg.
*I walk carelessly and end up kicking toddlers in my building and dogs in the streets
*I get irritated very easily but I never show it
*have been very shy; it’s quite hard for me to keep my trap open.
*even a choice, I would rather not speak at all
*As of today, I am on Bachelor of information technology + HND-HNC (Computing & Multimedia) from excel foundation UK and a time pass job(software writter) thereafter.
*I want to retire at 40 and set up a trust to take care of deprived children. I would still work 6 months a year though
*I can never sit idle, every waking moment is filled with activity
*Ideally I would love to stay by the beach, laze in the sun and stare at the waves in the day, and play the guitar in cafes at night
*I love singing metal songs; no one notices if I pronounce the words wrong but they appreciate me anyway
*I am chock-full of contradictions on the surface but there is always a deeper meaning behind my words; skip a line here and there and you will know me better
*My favorite comic-book hero is calvin&hobes & Denies the menace; coz he didn’t have super powers, had lots of humor and cude.
*My other favorite was Cartoon network; yes, I have always been and still am a big fan of the Big B
*My favourite Hindi song is: Inteha Ho Gayi Intezaar Ki from the movie Sharaabi.
*After the Big B, I adore Salman Khan and sanju BHAI Love him, hate him…the guy looks smart and manages to get the best gals in the business. Did YOU go around with Ash or Katrina Kaif? No? Then shut up!
*I first watched a blue-film (3 in a row) at the age of 11 at a neighbor’s house, almost got caught by mom but my glib tongue saved the night
*I never fell while learning to bicycle, and once I got going, I fell plenty of times
*I am an autodidact, I learn best when I learn myself. Books, videos and friends do help
*I learnt the guitar by myself though sometimes, I feel that a disciplined learning process would have benefited me more
*I believe that everything happens for the best, and there is a purpose behind every happenstance
*Like Dirk Gently, I believe in the fundamental interconnectedness of things; yes, Douglas Adams, Ayn Rand had a profound effect on me
*So did Kahlil Gibran, Antoine De Saint Exupery, Richard Bach,paulo cohelho, Ayn Rand, Sherlock Holmes, Don Quixote and The Count Of Monte Cristo
*I love the Victorian times and the concepts of gentleman, chivalry and such nonsense
*I used to think I am not a flirt, I am not so sure anymore
*I love placing red herrings and irking people deliberately; it’s interesting to watch people’s reactions. I believe that the best time to learn about people is when they are flustered / agitated
*I am an observer of people, if I were in a room and a beautiful woman would walk in; I would rather look at everyone’s reaction than the woman herself (she would be my date anyway *snigger*)
*I am supremely confident; many people rationalize it as being over-confident. My message to them: Fuck Off (am doubt about it)
*I gave up on happiness and sadness, I don’t believe in either of them
*My virtuall relationship with ‘XXX’and virgo sign was one such thing, I never wanted us to break up. And when I got over it, I never wanted to make up
*I am still in love with ‘XXX’ and this is the first and last time I am admitting it
*I hope ‘XXX’ never reads my diary.
*I never regret anything that I have ever done in my life. That includes writing these XX things about myself
*I believe in Pareto’s 80-20 principle a lot; 80% of the effects are due to 20% of the causes
*I am a born miser and I try to save money on anything and everything possible, I starve myself and rely totally on BEST and local trains to save money
*If I don’t like you, I will tell you that on the face. And to a dozen people behind your back
*I am telepathic and could read minds at will once upon a time; I stopped doing it to respect privacy of people
*I used to read hands; I have a very long lifeline myself. I will never read anyone's hand ever again. It's not right to look into the future
*I have extremely high-standards for myself. Most victories that are celebrated by colleagues and friends leave me hollow. Little things which don’t seemingly matter to others however give me immense pleasure
It’s very easy to gain my staunch friendship, it’s extremely hard to earn my respect
*It is easy to believe that you know me when you don’t know me at all
*I believe in ‘forgive and forget’; sometimes I fail in both
*I have been vindictive in the past; revenge is like wine - tastes sweeter with age…!
*I can never love someone or something without being passionate or possessive about her / it
*Some of the best conversations I have had till date have been in total silence. Some with God, some with myself and some with like minded friends
*The sweetest voice I have heard till date is of my sis calling me ‘KAI’
*I believe I am invincible
*I am listening to ‘Neele Neele Ambar Par’ right now, it’s my second-most favorite Hindi song
*I stopped crying last year, the very thought of crying fills me with revulsion. I still get the ‘frozen tears’ feeling sometimes and it leaves me with a huge ache in my heart
*I am extremely superstitious and diligently wear my lockets on my exams
*Being in a relationship killed my musicianship and my creativity, robbing me of my sense of identity. Self esteem and self-worth languished in the gutter as well. Everything is back now, with a ban
*I have broken 2 hearts till date and I am not counting the number of times I have sorely disappointed my parents
*The most orderly thing about my life is my PC. I love maintaining it, keeping the system up-to-date and storing the right files in the right folders
*I hate being spoken to or disturbed when I am playing the guitar. People who do so, fail test no.1
*I hate people going off-key when they are singing, the only thing that stops me from wringing their necks is the death sentence
*Once I played the guitar for 7 hours at a stretch when I was alone at home; I stopped only when my fingers bled. U know Guitar is my life.
*I believe that pain is the best stimulus to write a really touching song and the more I listen to music, the more I am convinced that I am right
I believe in seeking the truth always, and I would rather that I be told the bitter truth than a white lie. Ignorance is not bliss
*I often take credit for stuff I haven’t done – okay, so I am human!
*I hate it when people don’t give me credit for my work
*I see life as an unending quest for knowledge; I believe that anything and everything that I have seen, heard or learnt can be used in some situation or the other, sometime in life. I have been proved right on more than one occasion
*I believe in destiny a lot and I believe in free-will as well. Free-will, in my opinion, exists within the realms of destiny. What you do is free-will. What happens is destiny. Sometimes the twain meet, sometimes they don’t
*I love attention; I don’t know what I would do if everyone were to just neglect me and look through me
*If I die before my time, I hope it happens while falling from the top of a cliff into the sea
I LOVE 'xxx' AND 'xxx' HATE ME>>BUT I HATE ABOUT IT >>>listless and lost, dreamless and down, floundering in shadows, i whisper wishes, to the sky
i am your rock, but, sometimes i crumble, I am your sunshine, but, sometimes it gets cloudy, like a shadow that leaves, in your darkest hour, i am not there, there's nothing i can do, to change the past, and there will be times, when i won't be around, i hope you understand, so leave my hand and learn, to stand, walk and run, coz i won't be around forever

some pple are unreasonable, some pple are bullies, some pple take us for granted, some pple take advantange of us, some pple are ridiculous, some pple are hypocrites, some pple are plain stupid, some pple only think they aint stupid, some pple are lazy, some pple are like blocks of wood, some pple are unmotivated, some pple are damn blur, some pple dont think before they act, some pple are really rude, some pple have no principles, some pple have no shame, some pple have no support and well.. I could go on... but naah.. for now haha!
if u ask me what I do.. I am in the bizness of managing egos.. big ones.. huge ones :)

Happy Happy New Year

heyall!

I'd like to wish all my dear friends a very Merry Christmas and a Happy Happy New Year! Have a fun and fulfilling 2007!!

Sometimes in life

Sometimes in life, u find a special frnd; Someone who changes ur life, By being a part of it. Someone who makes u laugh until you can't stop. Someone who makes u believe, That there really is, Good in the world. Someone who convinces u, That there is an unlocked door, Just waiting for u to open it. This is forever friendship.... When you're down, And the world seems dark and empty, Your forever friend lifts u up in spirit, And makes that dark n empty world, Suddenly bright n beautiful. Your forever friend gets u through, The hard times, The sad times, The confused times. If u turn and walk away, Your forever friend follows. If u lose you way, Your forever friend guides you and cheers u on. Your forever friend holds ur hand, And tells u that, Everything is going 2 be okay. And if u find such a friend, You feel happy n complete, Because you need not worry. You have a forever friend 4 life N forever has no end